Lockdown Diaries Nominee#14- Unfolding the letter By Ritika Adhikari

The spring had forgotten how harsh the winter had been, but Raahi had not. For her, spring was just a season; something that would always return; nothing more, nothing less. But she knew somewhere inside her heart that somethings just couldn’t return.
The other day on the news, it said that the global pandemic did not seem to end soon as the number of the infected and dead kept on increasing and increasing, just like the price of gold. But what did it matter to Raahi? For her, these numbers were nothing but mere digits that hold no meaning. All the ever mattered to her was already lost.

Had it been any other day with a fine morning and not just she and those dead four walls which held her captive, she would have gone to a party like any other woman of her age, or she would have laughed and joked all day and when the darkness engulfed the entire world, she would silently wet her pillows, searching for a reason behind all of this, still being aware that there was a reason after all. But now that she could not, she was waiting for the sugar cubes to melt as she stirred her loneliness in the coffee and drank it sip by sip. Oh, how bitter it was!

The time had been hard for her. For six months, she had been running away from what was presented before her. Tripping. Falling. Rising. Huffing. Sweating. Injuring. Falling. And yet again rising. Tirelessly and desperately, she had been running away. Unfortunately, all in vain. A week away from the fake smiles and worldly materialism and it was already breaking her soul, making her realize how hollow, how pitiful she was. At times like this, all she could do was remember him. The times when they were kids; that one time when they were locked in a dark pantry full of mice and how her beloved, Aryan, had gently embraced her, slowly and lovingly, caressed her head with those small hands, pretending to be brave when she knew that he must have been as afraid as her. Aryan. His name was all she ever loved; all that she could ever remember. She remembered the day when he had held in her arms and promised that he would never leave her and then she remembered the day when she tightly grabbed his dead hands asking him what became of that promise; the day when she prayed and prayed, but that stone-faced god of hers would not answer.

If she had prayed harder, would he have been saved? If she had hugged him longer, would her heart have been healed? If he had said goodbye, would it have been easier? If he had not promised her forever, would she have forgotten him? She did not know. All she knew was that she wanted to see those beautiful hazel eyes; she wanted to hear his gentle voice; she wanted to feel the warmth of his love.

“Dear God, please… please… Just once, let me meet him again. I ask you no more. Just once.” she pleaded.
The god did not answer but suddenly she knew the answer; the way to meet him again who was waiting for her in that promised land. At last, their souls should, once again, meet.
She walked into the kitchen, examining the room from one corner to another searching for it which would open up an opportunity for them to reunite. It was there, stuck in the flesh of the apple which, who knew, would ever be eaten. The time had come. She gently placed it upon her wrist; her hands shook; her heart thumped loudly that it must burst even before she did anything. Nervous. Very nervous. A moment from now and it would be tearing her flesh and rupturing her veins, blood as red as those apples or maybe darker than they would stain this white marble floor, or so she thought. She closed her eyes and was just about to slit her wrist when she was interrupted by the company of the two little unexpected creatures, most probably the child thieves the neighbors had warned about the previous day.

Too astonished by the scenario the boy had dropped everything that he had stolen from the house. It should not have mattered to her now that she would be dead in a minute or two, right? But she just could slit her wrist. Was she afraid to die? No. It was the unfaltering gaze of that boy who was looking straight into her soul as if denying his fate; a gaze of a survivor; a gaze of a protector; a gaze of a believer; a gaze of someone opposite to her. She was drawn towards that gaze; that fascinating thing she could never achieve. She walked towards the boy. One step. Next step. Another step. The boy was shielding the girl behind him, his hands shaking, his soul scared, yet he did not avert his eyes. Raahi threw away the knife, kneeled to match their body level, and gently patted the boy’s head. The boy’s expression softened. She knew he had gone through a lot at a very young age, especially in this socio-economic crisis.
She asked the boy,” What do I do to be as brave as you?”

The boy puzzled for a second and answered,” Live!” He continued,” Even if you must steal. Even if you are labeled bad. Even if you have nothing. Even if you lost someone. Even if it is hard. Clench your fist, grit your teeth, rice up once again, and show the world that you can build castles out of ashes. Because as long as you live, happy days will always come.”
The child thieves had left the house, and she was yet alone again, however, she did not feel lonely. Among the things the boy had dropped, she found a chest that she had safely secured inside her locker; which contained the most precious thing that ever belonged to her. It contained the letter her beloved had written the day before he turned into ashes. All along, she never dared to open the chest, let alone read the letter. But time never felt this right. It had stopped raining in her heart.
She opened the chest, carefully unsealed the envelope and unfolded the letter.
A mere, single word in the entire letter.
A single word.
“LIVE.”

ReachIvy.com organized an online blog/vlog competition to provide people the unique opportunity to share their lockdown stories using their creativity. The competition met with a fantastic response from participants across 4 continents, and our jury has handpicked the Top 50 entries from them for the Popular Choice Award 2020!

The above entry has been submitted by Ritika Adhikari from Kathmandu, Nepal. She is a 16-year-old student of St. Xavier’s College. Kudos to Ritika for this beautiful piece!

Show your support and help Ritika win the contest by liking this blog post on all ReachIvy.com’s social media platforms!